My artistic journey from childhood to now

Why I started painting florals and nature more than anything

This is a very long story...just a heads up :)

The Past…

Everywhere I stepped foot, I was recognized as the girl who could draw stunning portraits. From school and college to the multiple jobs I’ve held, I successfully earned the title of a portrait artist. I wasn’t famous like the "big guys," but I was well-known within my own circles. My art was recognized among my friends, extended family, professors, and my dad’s business network, and I even appeared in the good ol' newspaper with my drawings from time to time.

I loved all of it. It was the perfect balance—the encouragement, the social life, and the way the craft itself challenged me. I was a straight-A student, and because I was so focused, I didn't have to study too hard, which left me plenty of free time to practice drawing. I started selling custom portraits commercially through my dad’s professional network in 9th grade (when I was about 14 years old). I loved having that bit of extra spending money, which I would use to buy more art supplies.

Since then, I have always desired to be a "real" artist with a small, cozy art studio. I could see myself drawing from morning to night and coming home fulfilled. After all, I started earning from art very early, so I knew my dream had to come true one day—and it did…

(Harshpreet Kaur at 14 years old, pictured above)

Professional start as an artist…

Art has been the one consistent part of my life; it was always present through all the highs and lows. I have to be honest, though—internally, I was sometimes embarrassed by my love for art. I had this one stinging thought echoing in my head: “I have really good grades. I am quite intelligent and can take up any profession. I can do so much better than art.” It’s almost as if I felt art wasn't good enough to be a career.

I started hearing this sentiment from my friends, family, and other social circles more often as I graduated high school. So, I squashed my desire to follow my heart and… I did everything, job, and study I didn't enjoy, all while convincing myself that this was best for my future. Maybe, later on, I even started liking some of it?

(Art Battle 2020: Harshpreet Kaur with her winning piece in the first round in Prince George, BC, Canada)

I had tried everything my own brain, society, peers, and random strangers told me to do…. This was the last resort. Now is the time I tell you a brutally honest story about what finally gave me the courage to follow my heart and embrace art.

Why I drew mostly portraits…

Let me start with why I loved drawing portraits to begin with: I loved capturing expressions. I found subtle emotions in people very fascinating. I was drawn to portraits because they felt familiar, and I also felt they were predictable. I found drawing portraits comfortable, but the details provided the exact challenge I needed to enjoy it. I would look for a unique expression in the references provided by my clients, and I aimed to capture that feeling on paper the best way possible; that process felt otherworldly to me. I was also certainly drawn to portraits of young women because I could relate to them. A lot of my practice pieces from my teenage years are portraits of women.

Something changed…

Here I was in my early twenties, distracted entirely from my path and wondering why I stopped enjoying drawing the way I used to. I knew my skills were refining at the speed of light—even though I was doing other things in my life, I still practiced every day because I knew my gift was something I wanted to honor. Did I not find the challenge in it anymore? Or did I find it repetitive? I still loved people and expressions. Is this normal for artists? I was working on a lot of portrait commissions, but there was something missing in my life.

Mid-life crisis at 24….?

After drawing portraits for over 12 years and switching careers, jobs, and countries, I hit the dreaded mid-life crisis at the age of 24. Is this real? It’s hard to pinpoint when it started, but I enjoyed ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The things I loved before—sleeping, social media, meeting friends, working out at the gym, drawing, cooking, and finding inspiration from other artists—now held no interest for me.

I quit social media for a long while (to this day, I only use it on my laptop), I quit the gym, I couldn't sleep well, and I didn't feel like drawing, cooking, baking, or even listening to my favorite music. The only thing I wanted was to find peace and solitude. I felt I was experiencing burnout. At the time, I couldn't even hear someone motivating me. I found myself pretty much always in my room, staring at my unfinished artwork (except for my commissions, of course). Everything had changed.

(Harshpreet at Art Battle 2022 in Vancouver, BC, Canada)

My mind kept trying to light a fire of passion again so I could fix this. It was trying to absorb motivation here and there, while simultaneously trying to answer tough questions like, "How do I deal with a failure like this?" Nothing seemed to work because my body had given up on this version of me. My life became a "bitter soup"—a blend of some really unethical people, bad physical health, terrible mental health, COVID rules (of course), a horrible workplace environment, and so much more. I fought and fought, got really tired, and repeated the same cycle.

There was one thing I looked forward to: in the midst of this craziness, I started making frequent trips to the parks and gardens nearby. The walk to the park and the time I spent sitting on a park bench allowed me to be quiet, both in my head and in my surroundings. After about three years of this chaos, one day I was waiting for my bus and I saw the art gallery across the street. I had always stared at the entrance every time I waited for the bus there. That one day, looking at the gallery door, something in me changed—and the next day, I quit my job.

I didn't have another job ready or any kind of backup to help me survive; I just quit because this misery had to stop. I realized this was the one thing I could put an end to. BUT… it didn’t feel great. I felt truly sad. I decided to move cities and start afresh, thinking that was what I needed. Well, it didn’t unfold that way. A few months later, I was still at a standstill. My life was now a movie running in slow motion; I frequently overslept and lost a lot of my appetite.

In between this, I still somewhat enjoyed walks to the nearby gardens. I would find beautiful flowers, meet squirrels, ducks, birds, and butterflies, and… it felt better. I started taking pictures and found myself enjoying it. Listening to water streams, seagulls, and birds chirping was like music to my ears. One day, I saw a lavender bush. I had read a lot about lavender in historical stories—how it was used quite often in medicine to relieve pain and speed healing. So, I came home that day and decided I wanted to paint them. I hadn’t done much painting throughout my life, but I told myself, "This one is for me." No judgment on my skill level; just paint and see how far I can take it.

Well, it took four months—on and off. There was just one thing: now that I painted flowers, I realized that I really, really enjoyed painting. Why didn’t I ever try this before? It felt so effortless; it was natural to me. I started painting another one, and I honestly felt like I was floating. I felt so drawn to painting and botanicals. It felt as if something beautiful was unraveling. This also helped me realize something very deep….

How I coped and found my way to botanicals...

Throughout this mid-life crisis, I did a few things that allowed me to explore what was truly (I’m afraid to say) the PROBLEM. Before I discovered I liked painting flowers and nature, there was a major force—a big puzzle piece that was missing. In all my actions, whether it was drawing, working at my job, or studying, I realized that I may have somewhat loved the action, but I never truly found a way to love myself and what I ACTUALLY desired to do. I loved others and every other thing, but not me. So, I would always find a way to avoid spending time with myself (cheesy… I know… but true).

This burnout period was a blessing in disguise; it forced me to spend time with myself, my thoughts, emotions, and desires. But that’s not the only way I found my road to recovery; there were other powerful forces that helped me move forward.

(Harshpreet Kaur at Butterfly Gardens, Victoria, BC, Canada)

Time with nature was one of the biggest ones. I cannot hold back my appreciation for the time I spent at gardens, parks, near water, and observing wildlife. Before this life-changing circumstance, I did spend time in nature, but never in the way I do now. Other habits I developed during this time included reading historical stories of peaceful leaders and saints. I was so impressed with these stories that I would sometimes ponder over them for hours, which helped motivate me to start rising again. All these habits helped me recover from this experience. Still, there was another side of me that needed exploration. Repairing my relationship with myself…

Repairing my relationship with myself as a woman and a human being—nature again played a big role, and it was probably the piece that was missing. I realized I was so tangled in the web of societal pressures and expectations that I forgot my first duty to this universe: being a human to myself and all other living beings. My second duty is being a woman. I do not have to opt into any other duties that this life forces on me unless I want to. My humane duties were assigned to me by nature itself, along with the tools I needed to fulfill them. Then why should I worry and live in stress? It is all already in me; nature gave these powerful abilities to all living beings. I don’t have to try to find them; these powers are already there. These powers communicate with me, and I just have to listen to them. When I started tuning in, I found all the answers I needed—not too much, not too little. Just enough. I also found another thing I was always unintentionally looking for: I found peace in solitude and in the company of others. Call it a deep cleansing of mind, brain, body, or whatever term you want to use. I felt clean and weightless..

Painting botanicals as a hobby, passion, therapy...

Art is my hobby and my therapy. I paint for peace, but more than that, I use my art to share my gratitude and love for nature for helping me get through a time so rough that I thought it was the end of the good in my life. I appreciate everything this life has to offer, and since my time on earth is so limited, I must live true to myself; that’s the only way I can be true to nature. Just as other animals and birds live the way they do, I can live like a human being.

Nature gave me the courage, the power, and the nourishment to walk a road that has been walked by many but left unfinished. If you’re reading this and realizing you are perhaps facing something similar to what I faced, I’m here to tell you it’s your time to realize what nature brought you here to do first as a human being—that is the only identity of yours that cannot be altered or changed.